April 8, 2013
The sixth and final season of Mad Men has started and it’s got me wondering about how the series will end. Here are a few possible ways I can imagine the writers wrapping everything up for Don.
- Sally Draper follows in her father’s footsteps, becoming a partner at the firm, just as Roger Stirling followed his father. She’s hard drinking, philandering and brilliant — just like her dad.
- Baby Gene discovers Don’s secret and decides to change his name… to Marilyn Manson.
- A decrepit and abandoned Don suffers from Alzheimer’s and can’t remember ever being Don Draper. He keeps asking for someone named Adam.
- The final scene shows us a now retired Don Draper walking to a breakfast reception for the firms old partners at the firm’s new office. We see him meeting all the cast members as he checks details on the invitation. We zoom in and see the invite is for 8:30AM on the 47th floor of 1 World Trade Center. The date is September 11th, 2001. The camera tracks up towards the clear blue sky and fades to black as we hear air traffic control chatter.
- Don witnesses the fall of Saigon and is astonished when a young Captain named Richard Whitman dies in his arms. He realizes this fate telling him to return to old life, and he does.
- Glen gets Sally pregnant.
- Glen gets Betty pregnant.
- While celebrating his involvement in the faking of the moon landing, Don sees two CIA agents walking slowly towards him and realizes this is not only his greatest marketing coup, it is his last.
- Don worries about having missed the boat on the Internet boom and decides to invest his life savings in a new start-up called… pets.com.
- Don wins the Quanta Airline account and, after visiting their head offices, looks forward to seeing his fourth wife when his flight — Oceanic 815 — finally lands.
- Don, Betty, Sally and Bobby meet in a New Jersey diner for a happy family reunion to celebrate having put their difference behind them. From a jukebox we hear Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” begin to play.
- Pam Ewing wakes and, hearing the water running, goes into the bathroom and finds her husband Bobby in the shower. Everything in Mad Men was a dream.
How do you think the show will end? With a bang, or with a whimper?
August 25, 2012
With today’s sad news that Neil Armstrong has died, all the participants in this story are gone and the truth can be revealed.
Armstrong didn’t actually say “This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”. He said, “this is one small step for man, one giant leap for Manny Klein”.
See when Neil was 12 he was playing ball with some friends and the ball fouled off into the yard of Manny and Esther Klein who lived next door to the Armstrongs.
As he was digging for the ball in the shrubs under the Klein’s bedroom window young Neil heard Mr. Klein pleading with his wife to give him a blow job. Mrs. Klein replied to Manny, “the day I give you a blow job is the day that brat next door lands on the moon.”
February 24, 2008
While I know nothing about her other than what I read today I can’t help thinking she’d get a good laugh from the unfortunate juxtaposition of the headline and caption in her obit:
I’m sure it wasn’t overzealous Crossroads producers deciding to have a hit put out on the nonagenarian but that was my first thought.
February 14, 2008
January 26, 2008
January 18, 2008
I’ve hated — no loathed — clowns since I was very young. I could share several traumatic pre-school encounters with these, uh, clowns — but I won’t bore you. Besides, you probably hate clowns too!
It’s a fact — kids hate clowns!
LONDON — Bad news for Coco and Blinko — children don’t like clowns and even older kids are scared of them.
The news that will no doubt have clowns shedding tears was revealed in a poll of youngsters by researchers from the University of Sheffield who were examining how to improve the decor of hospital children’s wards.
The study, reported in the Nursing Standard magazine, found all the 250 patients aged between four and 16 they quizzed disliked the use of clowns, with even the older ones finding them scary.
“As adults we make assumptions about what works for children,” said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer in research at the university.
“We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable.”
September 29, 2007
That title is entirely aimed at getting my geekier readers to see this joke Zoe and I came up with.
Zoe: “I can’t believe Dylan would rather hang out with one sixth grader than three 8th graders.”
Dad: “I guess that means that he thinks you’re in Grade Two.”
Dad: “Well, do the math.”
- 3 x Grade8 = 1 x Grade6
- Grade8 = 1/3 x Grade6
- Grade8 = Grade2
Zoe: “Great Dad, why don’t you just blog about it instead of teasing me.”
March 15, 2007
September 4, 2004
You Have Bad Taste in Music. I don’t know that for a fact, but Eman Laerton is out to convince Hoobastank, Nickelback, Train, Ruben Studdard and Linkin Park fans that they do.
Even if you don’t have bad taste in music you should visit the site. It is a fine example of the power of low-cost technology to create new forms of communication and entertainment. Eman has used a clever domain name, website, video camera, megaphone, and army helmet (seriously) to make something that is both entertainment and social commentary.
May 28, 2004
April 19, 2004
GooglePhraseRanking provides a list of connected Googlephrases whereby deeper meaning can be inferred from the relationship of the Googlephrases than from any of the individual Googlephrases.
Here is the first GooglePhraseRanking ever (for the term “wife and x girls”):
“wife and two girls” (712)
“wife and three girls” (231)
Here’s another for “when I was x” inspired by Frank Sinatra:
“when I was seventeen” (13,700)
“when I was twenty-one” (3,450)
“when I was thirty-five” (703)
April 1, 2004
The Globe and Mail’s site has an April Fool’s review of Microsoft’s must-have computer game Solitaire.
So as of now (morning April 1, 2004) there is no Emzytec when you search Google.
I only bring this up because that fact was pointed out in this morning’s Fisher comic strip. (Fisher is trying to come up with a new brand for a biotech firm called Higgins Biotech).
Let’s see how long that empty Google page lasts!
September 15, 2003
Major web buzz is building on this:
“Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro.”
Check out languagehat.com for some of the most insightful discussion.
July 8, 2003
“Form a sentence from the acronym of the last word found on the latest post. Quirky, funny, nasty, silly, serious, whatever your post may be, the words are yours. Every correct entry gives you 1 point.”
July 16, 2002
“It was a dark and stormy night…”
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest results were announced yesterday.
August 24, 2001
Finally we have conclusive proof that NASA faked the moon landing.
August 22, 2001
While the expression “the Internet changes everything” might be out of fashion, I keep running into things that I can’t imagine existing in a non-Net world.
Here we have what some would consider a stereotypical British eccentric who has become a bit obsessed with the fence where he used to lock up his bike.
The site is a one man effort providing statistics on how long various items stay on the fence after he chains them on. The people who own the building are going crazy trying to keep up with “the fencemaster.”
What is really fascinating is that many people are following his “adventures” on the Net and making requests for various items they’d like to see on the fence. People are now starting to visit the fence in question as a tourist spot. Some are adding their own items.
I can’t imagine how the world could get involved in one man’s fight to chain things to a fence without the Net. Seriously, find an hour or so and dive into the mind of another person. Fascinating and scary.